Tuesday, March 25, 2014

People I Hate - pt. 1




I am a very opinionated person. No really, I am. I know it is hard to believe. The thing is, I pride myself in being easy to get along with. I. Am. Easy.  I really am and it amazes me how many other people really are not.  I am amazingly amazed how many people just do not have a clue how their behavior affects others.

We are living in a time where the ME generation is becoming the WHO CARES generation and yes there is a difference.  The Me Generation was being selfish in a way that gave them "self-fulfillment and self-realization.  That can be an enlightening and positive thing. The Who Cares gen.are merely selfish people doing whatever they want, to whomever they want. They are reality TV and obliviousness all rolled up in a nice neat package.

I am often out in the world and forced to deal with all types like these, so I have begun a list. I know every blog and online news source thinks every bit of info we read has to be in list form but this is different.

I know you aren't stupid. The Huffington Post thinks we are all handicapped idiots that can't digest anything unless it is in bite sized little elementary school portions or we will spot a butterfly flying by and lose interest . I don't believe that. This just happens to be a list I was making in my head . I could eliminate the numbers and put this whole entry in paragraph form like a real article but I really want to keep count of how many annoying types there are.

SO sorry. I know you aren't dumb. I think ultimately this will be a long list. This just part one So here we go:


1. The Facebook Poser - If you looked at this person's Facebook page you would think that they live the kind of dream life reserved for celebrities. They are at all the hottest parties. They have tons of gorgeous friends. They are always in a hot pose with a group, or in front of something cool, maybe throwing up some weird hand gesture or something. BUT the reality is when you are actually out with this person or see them out in real life, they are lame. Earth shatteringly lame. They don't socialize at all. They spend the entire night out looking for that FB shot. They jump into other cool people's pics. They hold up the one drink they bought all night and act like they've been partying for days (for the pic), They hug strangers (for the pic) The entire night out is to portray themselves as a FB celebrity but in reality they suck. They are boring and they probably should have stayed home.

Man I hate Phonies!


2. The 40+ Year Old Divorced Guy - I would love to bang out a few pics here to show this person in action.  Some of these guys are my friends. Of course that wouldn't go over too well because like most people on this list they too are in denial. BUT it really is pathetic to watch. These guys are single and having failed miserably at marriage are now also failing miserably at hooking up with women. The main point I would like to make here is one of science. Many years of research have determined that 20 - 25 year old girls, and I AM calling them girls, are not interested in men who are over 40 in a sexual way. Of course there are exceptions but in most cases they look at men of a certain age (45) as OLD. The fact is , we are old. We have road miles on us that are right there visually jumping out. No matter how nice your suit is, no matter how great you think your rap is, you really are playing above your pay grade. I watch these guys attempt to woo these babies by throwing cash around and by acting like they are powerful players in the business world or whatever. It may work for a while because everyone loves positive attention but ultimately guys, they like young men and you need to take another look at that WOMAN at the bar you are ignoring. That's where real success lies.


Come On! That's HOT!




3. The 20 Something Girl  - On the other side of that fence is the 20+ year old female. When I go out with my friends, being married especially, I have no real use for this type at all. Here's a message to the 20- 25 year olds out there. Read a book. Watch the news. Get a hobby. For God's sake, when did it become in style to be superficial and dumb. No I am not going to audition for you. I don't give a crap if you approve of what I do for a living. You aren't getting in my car so it doesn't matter what I drive. You look bored. Why don't you go home if you're bored. If you aren't bored why don't you go look in a mirror and practice a nice face instead of a bitch face. It will help you make friends. I have lived. I have been around. If we have a conversation it won't be about how your drink sucks and how drunk your friend is. Then you get to see MY bored face. Lastly, what is with this fake squeaky voice so many of you put on? It's like an updated Cyndi Lauper voice on Helium. Cut it out! You sound ridiculous!

Why does every sentence end in a question?


4. The Sports Man -  I like sports. I'm a huge Sox/Pats/Celts/B's fan. When they get into the championship which over the last ten years has been pretty frequently I am psyched. PS. Eat your heart out NY. I will happily go out to a sports bar to watch with friends. Here in Titletown it is an experience to be out with a crowd watching or going to a game. BUT there is always a guy who takes it just a little too far.

No I do not know what Middlebrooks ERA is and I can not remember what Big Papi did in that game against the Yankees back in 2009. I do not know every player on the Celtics and certainly do not care about what Red Auerbach had for breakfast the day he said goodbye to Larry Bird. Stats are boring. No one wants to hear them and literally no girl anywhere is impressed that you know what college every one of  the New England Patriots went to and while we are at it when you refer to the team as we and us it is kind of funny. I know you. You never played sports. You weren't ever on a team. When we play a pickup game of softball you never play. You eat wings and burgers and pizza. That's what you do. You are the eating guy. The Red Sox are the sports guys so it should be them not us.

I am NOT on the Pats


5. The I am SO Busy Person - Nearly every person I know has to work for a living. No one I know is independently wealthy. Everyone has bills to pay. So what do we do? We work. This person acts like they are the only ones who have a job. They never return a call. They always cancel the plans. When you finally get them on the phone it's always, "I am so SWAMPED!" "My life is SO hard!" "I am so STRESSED out!":
Hey. Cry me a friggin river pal. WE ALL WORK. I make time for my friends. It is part of being an adult. You want to have friendships you have to cultivate them. I work like an animal so when someone tells me they are too busy all the time it pisses me off. I have one friend who is divorced and does not have custody of his daughter so in effect he really doesn't have to deal with many of the things parents deal with but this guy has the weight of the world on his shoulders according to him. Somehow those of us with kids still manage to go to the sports games, school functions, make the dinner, work 50+ hours a week or more, live our own busy lives and still find the time to return calls, texts and emails. We show up when all the gang is in town and do not constantly have poor excuses why you can't budget your time and grow up.
You are SO much busier than me.


Do you know people like these? There are easily 100 more categories. Hopefully you aren't one of these people. A little introspection goes a long way. Most personality flaws come down to one thing. Selfishness.
Lord knows I am not perfect. However I try my best to not be selfish. You have to if you want to stay married and surrounded by people who have your back.



In today's entitled world I think it is so important to shine a light on people like these who just do not get it.

What do you think? Can you relate to any of this? Put your comments down below and the best  #6 will win season tickets to the 2014 Red Sox season.

(The above statement is not true. I will be lucky if I get my hands on bleacher seats and even then I am not giving any away. I am going to go myself.)

 (I know that is selfish. As I said above I am not perfect)

Be on the lookout for  People I Hate - Part 2

Thanks for stopping by,

Cappy