People I Hate - pt. 1

I am a very opinionated person. No really, I am. I know it is hard to believe. The thing is, I pride myself in being easy to get along with. I. Am. Easy.  I really am and it amazes me how many other people really are not.  I am amazingly amazed how many people just do not have a clue how their behavior affects others.

We are living in a time where the ME generation is becoming the WHO CARES generation and yes there is a difference.  The Me Generation was being selfish in a way that gave them "self-fulfillment and self-realization.  That can be an enlightening and positive thing. The Who Cares gen.are merely selfish people doing whatever they want, to whomever they want. They are reality TV and obliviousness all rolled up in a nice neat package.

I am often out in the world and forced to deal with all types like these, so I have begun a list. I know every blog and online news source thinks every bit of info we read has to be in list form but this is different.

I know you aren't stupid. The Huffington Post thinks we are all handicapped idiots that can't digest anything unless it is in bite sized little elementary school portions or we will spot a butterfly flying by and lose interest . I don't believe that. This just happens to be a list I was making in my head . I could eliminate the numbers and put this whole entry in paragraph form like a real article but I really want to keep count of how many annoying types there are.

SO sorry. I know you aren't dumb. I think ultimately this will be a long list. This just part one So here we go:


1. The Facebook Poser - If you looked at this person's Facebook page you would think that they live the kind of dream life reserved for celebrities. They are at all the hottest parties. They have tons of gorgeous friends. They are always in a hot pose with a group, or in front of something cool, maybe throwing up some weird hand gesture or something. BUT the reality is when you are actually out with this person or see them out in real life, they are lame. Earth shatteringly lame. They don't socialize at all. They spend the entire night out looking for that FB shot. They jump into other cool people's pics. They hold up the one drink they bought all night and act like they've been partying for days (for the pic), They hug strangers (for the pic) The entire night out is to portray themselves as a FB celebrity but in reality they suck. They are boring and they probably should have stayed home.

Man I hate Phonies!

2. The 40+ Year Old Divorced Guy - I would love to bang out a few pics here to show this person in action.  Some of these guys are my friends. Of course that wouldn't go over too well because like most people on this list they too are in denial. BUT it really is pathetic to watch. These guys are single and having failed miserably at marriage are now also failing miserably at hooking up with women. The main point I would like to make here is one of science. Many years of research have determined that 20 - 25 year old girls, and I AM calling them girls, are not interested in men who are over 40 in a sexual way. Of course there are exceptions but in most cases they look at men of a certain age (45) as OLD. The fact is , we are old. We have road miles on us that are right there visually jumping out. No matter how nice your suit is, no matter how great you think your rap is, you really are playing above your pay grade. I watch these guys attempt to woo these babies by throwing cash around and by acting like they are powerful players in the business world or whatever. It may work for a while because everyone loves positive attention but ultimately guys, they like young men and you need to take another look at that WOMAN at the bar you are ignoring. That's where real success lies.

Come On! That's HOT!

3. The 20 Something Girl  - On the other side of that fence is the 20+ year old female. When I go out with my friends, being married especially, I have no real use for this type at all. Here's a message to the 20- 25 year olds out there. Read a book. Watch the news. Get a hobby. For God's sake, when did it become in style to be superficial and dumb. No I am not going to audition for you. I don't give a crap if you approve of what I do for a living. You aren't getting in my car so it doesn't matter what I drive. You look bored. Why don't you go home if you're bored. If you aren't bored why don't you go look in a mirror and practice a nice face instead of a bitch face. It will help you make friends. I have lived. I have been around. If we have a conversation it won't be about how your drink sucks and how drunk your friend is. Then you get to see MY bored face. Lastly, what is with this fake squeaky voice so many of you put on? It's like an updated Cyndi Lauper voice on Helium. Cut it out! You sound ridiculous!

Why does every sentence end in a question?

4. The Sports Man -  I like sports. I'm a huge Sox/Pats/Celts/B's fan. When they get into the championship which over the last ten years has been pretty frequently I am psyched. PS. Eat your heart out NY. I will happily go out to a sports bar to watch with friends. Here in Titletown it is an experience to be out with a crowd watching or going to a game. BUT there is always a guy who takes it just a little too far.

No I do not know what Middlebrooks ERA is and I can not remember what Big Papi did in that game against the Yankees back in 2009. I do not know every player on the Celtics and certainly do not care about what Red Auerbach had for breakfast the day he said goodbye to Larry Bird. Stats are boring. No one wants to hear them and literally no girl anywhere is impressed that you know what college every one of  the New England Patriots went to and while we are at it when you refer to the team as we and us it is kind of funny. I know you. You never played sports. You weren't ever on a team. When we play a pickup game of softball you never play. You eat wings and burgers and pizza. That's what you do. You are the eating guy. The Red Sox are the sports guys so it should be them not us.

I am NOT on the Pats

5. The I am SO Busy Person - Nearly every person I know has to work for a living. No one I know is independently wealthy. Everyone has bills to pay. So what do we do? We work. This person acts like they are the only ones who have a job. They never return a call. They always cancel the plans. When you finally get them on the phone it's always, "I am so SWAMPED!" "My life is SO hard!" "I am so STRESSED out!":
Hey. Cry me a friggin river pal. WE ALL WORK. I make time for my friends. It is part of being an adult. You want to have friendships you have to cultivate them. I work like an animal so when someone tells me they are too busy all the time it pisses me off. I have one friend who is divorced and does not have custody of his daughter so in effect he really doesn't have to deal with many of the things parents deal with but this guy has the weight of the world on his shoulders according to him. Somehow those of us with kids still manage to go to the sports games, school functions, make the dinner, work 50+ hours a week or more, live our own busy lives and still find the time to return calls, texts and emails. We show up when all the gang is in town and do not constantly have poor excuses why you can't budget your time and grow up.

You are SO much busier than me.

Do you know people like these? There are easily 100 more categories. Hopefully you aren't one of these people. A little introspection goes a long way. Most personality flaws come down to one thing. Selfishness.
Lord knows I am not perfect. However I try my best to not be selfish. You have to if you want to stay married and surrounded by people who have your back.

In today's entitled world I think it is so important to shine a light on people like these who just do not get it.

What do you think? Can you relate to any of this? Put your comments down below and the best  #6 will win season tickets to the 2014 Red Sox season.

(The above statement is not true. I will be lucky if I get my hands on bleacher seats and even then I am not giving any away. I am going to go myself.)

 (I know that is selfish. As I said above I am not perfect)

Be on the lookout for  People I Hate - Part 2

Thanks for stopping by,

Cappy

5 Things You Have to Do This Winter! (Boston Edition)

Happy New Year!

Hello everyone! It’s been a little while. I want to wish you all a happy, healthy, prosperous and sexually gratifying 2014. May everything you want be granted to you. May all your aches and pains go away. May whomever is annoying you and pissing you off fall down an elevator shaft or at the very least get some type of extremely  itchy fungal rash on themselves which will make them have to focus on that and not on annoying and pissing YOU off.

Right about now you should be pretty sick of the winter. The end of January usually brings about the worst case of the winter doldrums a person can possibly get. I call it the GTFAFMe’s. You never heard of that? It stands for the Get The F*** Away From Me’s.  It’s the point in a New England winter where you don’t even want to go outside any more. The thought of putting on five layers and shoveling snow gives you an instant headache. It’s cold, icy, wet, dirty and nothing is growing or blooming anywhere. It’s just desolation and death. Grim. Grey. Death.

BUT I have a solution for you. I can’t stand being inside for too long. If the weather keeps me from going out more than like one day in a row….I’m going to kill someone!

We are lucky here in the Boston area though because there are tons of things to do. Some of these you may know about and some you probably don’t. Some of these things you may not want to do but don’t jump to that conclusion so quickly. EVERY thing on this list is fun. Take it from me. (Mr. Fun) Add to this list at the bottom in the form of comments. I need stuff to do because at this point the GTFAFMe’s are pretty bad. So read. Enjoy. Then Contribute.

*One thing. Right click on links and open in another window. It's easier.

CoCo Key

1. Coco Key Water Park  - Located about twenty minutes north of Boston in Danvers is an indoor water park that most of you had no idea was there. If you knew it was there you had no idea that anyone over the age of 5 would love it here. WELL, you would. Here’s why:

• Wet Rooster Bar. Yup they have a bar in there and food too.
• Giant Water Slides. Big ones. You sit on a raft and shoot down in the dark.
• Lazy River. There’s an indoor lazy river. Put your butt on a tube and relax.
• Hot Tub. One of those indoor/outdoor hot tubs.
• It’s in a Doubletree Hotel so you can stay overnight if you want to.

I wouldn’t call this a “Cheap” day out because it costs about $45 for a whole day pass but they have discounts for night only and deals all the time. Rates

Brooksby Farm

2. Brooksby Farm - While we are on the  North Shore there is a hidden gem you should be aware of. In the town of Peabody is a great little farm where many of you have gone to pick apples, eat cider donuts and pet the llama but did you know that they also have a great winter activity that I HIGHLY recommend?

It is cross country skiing and it’s a CHEAP way to get outside and have a great time. It is only $10 for the ski’s and if you have never done it before it is only $15 for a lesson and the ski package! You literally slide down their many trails into the woods where it’s really peaceful and beautiful.

I can’t tell you how important it is to get outside and enjoy the weather when there is snow on the ground. It’s peaceful and it’s calm and believe it or not there is still plenty of nature out there. If all you do in the snow is shovel it or slip on the ice then New England is probably not where you should be living. Cross Country skiing is easy and anyone can do it.

It is also about 15 miles north of Boston and afterwards you can grab a hot cider in their store or check out these places to eat two minutes away from there.

• Mr. G’s Pizza - The best NY style pizza in my opinion anywhere .
• Family Fare - It’s a diner! Breakfast all day and it’s GOOD!
• Brodies Pub - Maybe you need a beer and some good food. This is a great local pub.

Downhill Skiing

3. Downhill Skiing

Skiing is also easy. If you have never gone downhill skiing you have to try it. You can learn in one afternoon but you have to take a lesson. I do not recommend trying to teach yourself. Within one hour of Downtown Boston there are a ton of options to learn how to ski . 

Keep in mind, all of these places are set up to teach beginners although if you are experienced there are great runs for you too. I’m going to list them and you can click on the links to get more information. There are ways to get deals. There are ways to save on ski rentals and there are ways to learn to ski much quicker. You can ask below or PM me and I will help you out. Keep in mind if you have never skied before you only need to know three things to get going. 

How to turn left, how to turn right and how to stop. It is EASY. You CAN do it.

Close places to learn:

• Nashoba Valley
• Wachusett
• Bradford
• Blue Hills

Nashoba has a tubing park too if you don't feel like skiing! 

Also a little further away in New Hampshire is some great places to go. (1 ½ hours ) Places like Gunstock, Sunapee,Loon and the best deal I’ve seen is at Waterville Valley where every Tuesday you pay whatever the temperature is at dawn on Monday! I paid $10 dollars last time I went. Check here for Waterville Valley’s deals.

F1 Boston

4. F1 Boston Racing - Indoor Go Kart racing! This is not anything like the outdoor go kart track on Cape Cod you went to as a little kid. This is serious adult racing! Get a group together (you don’t have to. You can go by yourself) It’s a few minutes south off Rt. 93. 

These cars go something like 30+ MPH. They fly. When you get there you are told about the rules, you get a racing suit and helmet and are allowed to race the heck out of the cars. It is so much fun! There is also a bar/restaurant there for afterwards. The track is amazing. Keep in mind that there are guys watching you race so if you like to play smashemup derby or drive like a lunatic they will show you the door. Be cool and drive like a .....race car driver I guess. You will love it. Just GO!!!

Soldiers and Sailors Monument

5. Sledding on the Boston Common -

Everyone always talks about ice skating at the Frog Pond on the Common. It is always crowded and if you are like me (you hate ice skating) and would rather do something more fun and easier then sledding is for you.  

What is sledding really? You find something to lay down on , you find a hill and you slide down the hill on the thing you are laying down on. Most people don’t know there is a pretty good size hill right on the Common.

You can walk past the Frog Pond and go to the giant monument at the top of the hill. It’s called the Soldiers and Sailors Monument for you trivia buffs out there.  While you are at the statue walk a few dozen feet towards Charles Street and you will see the hill to sled on. The best time to go is when it’s all ice, when the snow has been packed down by kids already or when it’s just snowed but is warm enough to make a snowman. That way you can pack it down and make a good run. It may not look like Mt. Everest but you can fly all the way to Charles Street down that hill when conditions are right and if you have the right sled.

The right sled:  Just get over to Ocean State Job Lots on Route One in Saugus and get the plastic toboggan for a few bucks. They work great or Toy’s R Us also has them. The one I'm talking about is the cheap plastic kind that you can fit two people on or lay on your stomach. Fun Fun Fun. Then afterwards since you are in the center of Boston you might as well go have a few DRINKS:

• Parish Cafe
• Rattlesnake
• Red Hat
• Silvertone
• Barracuda

...to name a few Cappy approved bars. However you are literally surrounded by places to eat and drink and you are right next to my home away from home Downtown Crossing. Check out my comprehensive eating guide of DTX to see even more places to go.

Know How to Dress for Winter

Before I leave you until the next entry I feel , as an expert, I should give you a few pointers on how to dress for the New England winter.

Expert = Someone who works outside for 20 years in all weather including right now in winter and is almost never cold.

Once the temperature drops below 32 you need to layer up. This what I do. I am feeling good in this outfit to about 10 below Fahrenheit. If you need to know Celsius move to Europe. Someone there will assist you. You can adjust this outfit to what is comfortable for you.

Bottom layer - I have a Duofold Union Suit from LL Bean . It’s wool on the outside and fleece on the inside. I wear a t-shirt and underwear underneath it. A union suit is good if you don’t use the bathroom a lot. The trap door in the back is too small. Take it from me. Otherwise get a two piece but make sure it’s either wool or a lighter material like polyester. See here: LL Bean  
PS. As long as there is an Ebay you never have to pay full price for this stuff.

Wool socks - Get them cheap at Marshalls or TJ Maxx. NEVER wear two socks on one foot.

You can get chemical pack foot warmers at Ocean State or City Sports. They stick to the outside of your socks and last about 3 - 4 hours. If it’s below 20 degrees then get some. They are lifesavers.

Lined Jeans. - If I’m skiing I wear a waterproof ski suit but otherwise get some flannel lined jeans like these (click) they come in men's or women's style.

Over my Union suit I usually wear a sweatshirt with a fleece over it. A heavyweight fleece is the most important piece of clothing every New Englander must have. Lately the fad is to get a North Face Denali fleece like THIS   but since you aren’t a sheep know that you can get a good heavy fleece in any sporting goods store like Modell’s or again on Ebay for a LOT less than the status symbol North Face.

Gloves - Get a good pair of ski gloves with a glove liner inside. The good ones come with a little pocket to put a chemical pack in for the really cold days. They cost about 20 - 30 bucks and are a good investment.

Hat - ALWAYS wear a fleece or wool hat when you are outside all day in the winter. Heat really does escape from your head and you won’t believe how much warmer you are with a good winter hat on. Ear muffs alone won’t cut it.

AND if I were you I would get some good waterproof , insulated boots to wear or at least some Timberlands BUT never anything with a steel toe unless you like frostbite.

Layering is great because you can always take a few off if you're warm but you can't add them if you're freezing.

So there you have it. The winter is never easy when you feel like you are stuck inside with no options for fun. I hope I have shown you that fun is a twelve month a year activity. You should never feel stuck inside. If you are stuck inside then at least make it inside a bar or an indoor water park.

No More GTFAFMe’s! It’s amazing how they go away when you are enjoying yourself with good friends or making some new friends at one of the places above. REMEMBER to add your own ideas below. I see a million people are reading this but not commenting! So contribute please! See you soon out in the streets of Boston!

Love Ya,

CAPPYinBOSTON

thecappy03@gmail.com