People I Hate - pt. 1

I am a very opinionated person. No really, I am. I know it is hard to believe. The thing is, I pride myself in being easy to get along with. I. Am. Easy.  I really am and it amazes me how many other people really are not.  I am amazingly amazed how many people just do not have a clue how their behavior affects others.

We are living in a time where the ME generation is becoming the WHO CARES generation and yes there is a difference.  The Me Generation was being selfish in a way that gave them "self-fulfillment and self-realization.  That can be an enlightening and positive thing. The Who Cares gen.are merely selfish people doing whatever they want, to whomever they want. They are reality TV and obliviousness all rolled up in a nice neat package.

I am often out in the world and forced to deal with all types like these, so I have begun a list. I know every blog and online news source thinks every bit of info we read has to be in list form but this is different.

I know you aren't stupid. The Huffington Post thinks we are all handicapped idiots that can't digest anything unless it is in bite sized little elementary school portions or we will spot a butterfly flying by and lose interest . I don't believe that. This just happens to be a list I was making in my head . I could eliminate the numbers and put this whole entry in paragraph form like a real article but I really want to keep count of how many annoying types there are.

SO sorry. I know you aren't dumb. I think ultimately this will be a long list. This just part one So here we go:


1. The Facebook Poser - If you looked at this person's Facebook page you would think that they live the kind of dream life reserved for celebrities. They are at all the hottest parties. They have tons of gorgeous friends. They are always in a hot pose with a group, or in front of something cool, maybe throwing up some weird hand gesture or something. BUT the reality is when you are actually out with this person or see them out in real life, they are lame. Earth shatteringly lame. They don't socialize at all. They spend the entire night out looking for that FB shot. They jump into other cool people's pics. They hold up the one drink they bought all night and act like they've been partying for days (for the pic), They hug strangers (for the pic) The entire night out is to portray themselves as a FB celebrity but in reality they suck. They are boring and they probably should have stayed home.

Man I hate Phonies!

2. The 40+ Year Old Divorced Guy - I would love to bang out a few pics here to show this person in action.  Some of these guys are my friends. Of course that wouldn't go over too well because like most people on this list they too are in denial. BUT it really is pathetic to watch. These guys are single and having failed miserably at marriage are now also failing miserably at hooking up with women. The main point I would like to make here is one of science. Many years of research have determined that 20 - 25 year old girls, and I AM calling them girls, are not interested in men who are over 40 in a sexual way. Of course there are exceptions but in most cases they look at men of a certain age (45) as OLD. The fact is , we are old. We have road miles on us that are right there visually jumping out. No matter how nice your suit is, no matter how great you think your rap is, you really are playing above your pay grade. I watch these guys attempt to woo these babies by throwing cash around and by acting like they are powerful players in the business world or whatever. It may work for a while because everyone loves positive attention but ultimately guys, they like young men and you need to take another look at that WOMAN at the bar you are ignoring. That's where real success lies.

Come On! That's HOT!

3. The 20 Something Girl  - On the other side of that fence is the 20+ year old female. When I go out with my friends, being married especially, I have no real use for this type at all. Here's a message to the 20- 25 year olds out there. Read a book. Watch the news. Get a hobby. For God's sake, when did it become in style to be superficial and dumb. No I am not going to audition for you. I don't give a crap if you approve of what I do for a living. You aren't getting in my car so it doesn't matter what I drive. You look bored. Why don't you go home if you're bored. If you aren't bored why don't you go look in a mirror and practice a nice face instead of a bitch face. It will help you make friends. I have lived. I have been around. If we have a conversation it won't be about how your drink sucks and how drunk your friend is. Then you get to see MY bored face. Lastly, what is with this fake squeaky voice so many of you put on? It's like an updated Cyndi Lauper voice on Helium. Cut it out! You sound ridiculous!

Why does every sentence end in a question?

4. The Sports Man -  I like sports. I'm a huge Sox/Pats/Celts/B's fan. When they get into the championship which over the last ten years has been pretty frequently I am psyched. PS. Eat your heart out NY. I will happily go out to a sports bar to watch with friends. Here in Titletown it is an experience to be out with a crowd watching or going to a game. BUT there is always a guy who takes it just a little too far.

No I do not know what Middlebrooks ERA is and I can not remember what Big Papi did in that game against the Yankees back in 2009. I do not know every player on the Celtics and certainly do not care about what Red Auerbach had for breakfast the day he said goodbye to Larry Bird. Stats are boring. No one wants to hear them and literally no girl anywhere is impressed that you know what college every one of  the New England Patriots went to and while we are at it when you refer to the team as we and us it is kind of funny. I know you. You never played sports. You weren't ever on a team. When we play a pickup game of softball you never play. You eat wings and burgers and pizza. That's what you do. You are the eating guy. The Red Sox are the sports guys so it should be them not us.

I am NOT on the Pats

5. The I am SO Busy Person - Nearly every person I know has to work for a living. No one I know is independently wealthy. Everyone has bills to pay. So what do we do? We work. This person acts like they are the only ones who have a job. They never return a call. They always cancel the plans. When you finally get them on the phone it's always, "I am so SWAMPED!" "My life is SO hard!" "I am so STRESSED out!":
Hey. Cry me a friggin river pal. WE ALL WORK. I make time for my friends. It is part of being an adult. You want to have friendships you have to cultivate them. I work like an animal so when someone tells me they are too busy all the time it pisses me off. I have one friend who is divorced and does not have custody of his daughter so in effect he really doesn't have to deal with many of the things parents deal with but this guy has the weight of the world on his shoulders according to him. Somehow those of us with kids still manage to go to the sports games, school functions, make the dinner, work 50+ hours a week or more, live our own busy lives and still find the time to return calls, texts and emails. We show up when all the gang is in town and do not constantly have poor excuses why you can't budget your time and grow up.

You are SO much busier than me.

Do you know people like these? There are easily 100 more categories. Hopefully you aren't one of these people. A little introspection goes a long way. Most personality flaws come down to one thing. Selfishness.
Lord knows I am not perfect. However I try my best to not be selfish. You have to if you want to stay married and surrounded by people who have your back.

In today's entitled world I think it is so important to shine a light on people like these who just do not get it.

What do you think? Can you relate to any of this? Put your comments down below and the best  #6 will win season tickets to the 2014 Red Sox season.

(The above statement is not true. I will be lucky if I get my hands on bleacher seats and even then I am not giving any away. I am going to go myself.)

 (I know that is selfish. As I said above I am not perfect)

Be on the lookout for  People I Hate - Part 2

Thanks for stopping by,

Cappy

What do Boston, Sandwiches and Time Travel all have in Common? The Truth Revealed!

Of Colonials and Sandwiches

Anyone who lives and works in Boston knows we have a unique group of people that are very visible in Downtown Boston. They are the Colonials and they are everywhere. Whether giving tours on the Freedom Trail or Standing outside the visitor center on the Common, they are going about their day to day activities and for the most part blending in. But have you ever taken a closer look at these people? I have and what I found out is pretty incredible.

A stake out - a period of secret surveillance of a building or an area by police in order to observe someone's activities.

I have been on a perpetual stake out, off and on for quite a while. It can be tedious work. It can be hungry work. So here’s how this is going to go down:

1. I am going to explain in detail what I found out about the Colonials.

2. I am going to share with you the best sandwiches I have ever had because in Boston, when you are in a stake out sandwiches are the best thing to eat and I have become somewhat of a connoisseur.

Downtown Crossing in the center of Boston has had a nickname for quite some time. It is known as the Hub of the Universe. Originally Oliver Wendell Holmes coined the phrase and called Boston the Hub of the Solar System. He was referring to the State House back in 1858 and he arrogantly thought that Boston was the center of everything commercial and intellectual at that time. Eventually the Solar System became the Universe and the moniker stuck.

I’m not going to bore you with all the details because my new book entitled “All the Boring Details.” will be hitting Amazon soon but I do want to give you a bit of background so you understand that something incredible and amazing has happened here in Downtown Crossing and you are lucky enough to be here reading this before anyone else!

Notice - No Hat

Oliver Wendell Holmes was a poet among other things and he counted as friends many other famous literary figures such as Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. These men would get together over at the Old Corner Bookstore on School Street (in DTX) and discuss the news of the day and have a few drinks.  The story goes that one night Mr. Holmes and someone who may have been Charles Dickens had a few too many drinks and were walking down Washington Street towards what is currently the old Filene’s building but at the time was a parking lot for horse drawn carriages. The men stopped at the corner of Washington and Summer Streets to say good night and take their rides home. According to a written account in Mr. Holmes memoirs he dropped his hat accidentally into a hole in the ground. When he went to retrieve it he realized that the “hole” was something else entirely. His hat was gone forever.

Now, I am going to draw a conclusion here that is going to sound crazy but if you look at all the evidence you will see that it is not. At the location where Oliver Wendell Holmes claims to have lost his hat forever down a hole in the ground is a metal plate that has been there for as long as anyone alive can remember. It is a metal seal with the words “The Hub of the Universe” engraved on it. Right now it is behind a wall because the building is under construction but I can ensure you it is still there because I have seen it. The thing I never noticed before recently is that the seal actually has hinges on it!

It is a doorway in the ground.

This is where my stakeout began.

I remember clearly my lunch that day because it was brought to me by a good friend. Mr. Craig Singer, who claimed it would be the best sandwich I ever ate. He also paid for it which is why I recognize him here by name.

LUNCH:

Now as you take in what I just told you let me share something else with you.

THE BEST FRIGGIN ITALIAN SUB IN THE CITY OF BOSTON

Monica’s Mercato & Salumeria

This is a relatively new place and is located in the North End. I know it isn’t in DTX but if it wasn’t literally the best Italian I ever ate I wouldn’t include it. Incidentally if you are working or shopping in Downtown the walk to the North End takes about fifteen minutes. If you’re really lazy you can hop the T at State Street and hop off at Aquarium. Then you’re a few minutes away. It’s worth it.

Just get a large Italian with everything. The bread is amazingly fresh, the cold cuts are like buttah, the cheese is freshly sliced and it comes with sweet peppers, cucumber, Balsamic and more. I kid you not. The BEST I ever had.

Address: 130 Salem St, Boston, MA 02113

Phone:(617) 742-4101

Order the Italian!

Make sure you tell them the sandwich not the guy

Now here’s what I have noticed. Colonials congregate around the Hub of the Universe. They are all over DTX. Sure they work the Freedom Trail and the waterfront. They are near the USS Constitution and the Boston Tea Party ship. They come through Downtown before and after work every day. Another thing I have noticed is that they all universally are incompetent with any form of new technology. Where do they live? Where do they go at night? How is it possible to have the exact clothing that was worn in the 1700’s? They don’t have zippers. They are not wearing replicas like in other cities.

THESE PEOPLE ARE ACTUAL COLONIAL SETTLERS FROM THE 1700’S.

I overheard one of them dressed as James Otis telling another one dressed as Betsy Ross, “We have to get back. I have to pick up my shoes from the cobbler.”   THE COBBLER?

 

No idea what I'm doing with my camera

I know it sounds crazy. But there is a doorway through time located in DTX. The Colonials come through daily and work here and return home at night. I have seen it happen. You just have to stand next to Macy’s and watch around 9pm. You’ll see. But first I highly suggest you get one of these:

FALAFEL KING

The Falafel King sandwich is a work of art. You know longer have to wait on a huge line any more because they have two locations a few blocks away from each other. Both are equally good. The Falafel sandwich is a roll up. Always ask for hummus and hot sauce. The hot sauce isn’t hot and the hummus doesn’t hum but it’s still delicious. You always get a free falafel dipped in hummus while you are waiting. If you don’t get one it means he doesn’t like you. If you get one but it is not dipped in hummus it means he likes you but just not that way.

260 Washington St
(at Water St) 
Boston, MA 02108

Inside the roll up is at least three giant balls of falafel, pickles, lettuce, tahini sauce, hummus…… whatever. It’s GOOD. and at around five bucks it’s a bahgain. I mean baaaaaaah - gain.

Trying to understand the concept of the "backpack"

The other day I was at Park Street and watched a tour of the Freedom Trail come through. The Colonial was explaining how the Common was used to graze cattle and that some witches were hanged there. He knew the witches names. He knew exactly where the tree was where they were hanged. BUT when someone asked if there was free WiFi in the park he looked at her as if she had three heads and completely ignored the question. He crossed the street towards the Park Street church and I heard him tell the people to be careful of the horseless carriages coming.  (they were taxi’s)

Closed his eyes at every attempt to show him my smart phone

LUNCH AGAIN

It’s amazing to me that there are still people that are so Xenophobic and Ignorant that they never try anything remotely different. I HATE these people. Hamburger this. Hot Dog that. How can anyone exist that still has no idea what a -

Banh Mi is.   

It is a Vietnamese sandwich, It’s on a French crusty baguette and there are various kinds of fillings but the classic is pretty much pork belly, ham pate spread, cilantro, carrots, daikon radish, and cucumber.

There are other variations and types and there are a few places I love to get mine. They are universally inexpensive. Actually they are the cheapest and best value around for lunch. Usually between $3.00 to $5.00.  (I know right?)

The Banh Mi house is located on Winter Street at the food court and makes a great one.

New Saigon is a short walk down Washington into Chinatown and is an institution.

Wants my Chacarero

Places where Colonials usually congregate:

1. The Old South Meeting House

2. The Old State House  also right next door is the Boston Massacre memorial.

3. Paul Revere’s House in the North End

4. All over the Boston Common

5. The USS Constitution in Charlestown and the Bunker Hill Monument

6. The Boston Tea Party Ship and Museum

Traded my waist
 pouch for his walking stick. He filled it with oats and strapped it to his horse

I dressed up as a Minuteman a while back and tried to blend in with them. They knew immediately that I wasn’t one of them. They wouldn’t answer any of my questions about the time door and actually asked me to leave the employees only area at Faneuil Hall.

You rarely even see them eat but if they were to want to eat someplace Capone’s is right near by on Summer Street and we’re talking about one of the best sandwiches in Boston.

CAPONES:

The have a ton of good , reasonably priced, freshly made food here but I like to get a chicken salad sandwich with lettuce, tomato, sweet peppers and oil and vinegar on BRAIDED SESAME ROLL.  I capitalized that because it’s important. The bread of a sandwich is almost as important as the fillings. These sesame braided rolls are kick ass and you must have your sandwich on one. If you just don’t like sesame seeds then…….too bad. Eat it anyway.

They also have a daily lunch deal where you get a drink and a bag of chips with it for like nothing. The cookies are good too.

I know I have to mention Sam LaGrassa here if I’m talking about the best sandwiches in Boston but I hate to do it. The line there is always so damn long. I can never get a table. There’s always some people from the Jewelers Building hogging a table for like EVER. Go sell some diamonds for crying out loud!  (coming soon - my guide to buying in the Diamond and Jewelry buildings in DTX)

Anyway Hot Pastrami, lettuce, tomato, Russian Dressing or Dark Mustard on a bulkie with fries.

OR Turkey, Lettuce, tomato mayo or Russian dressing on a bulkie roll.    (chowder good too)

It is one of the all time best sandwich places on earth. You may run into a Colonial cutting through from School Street on their way to the time portal.

(see here for entire dining guide and pics)

http://cappyinboston.blogspot.com/2013/12/the-most-comprehensive-dining-guide-of.html

CHACARERO

Many things have been said about this mysterious sandwich brought here from Chile by Juan Hurtado many moons ago. Most of the things said were Yum, MMMM, Nom Nom and the rest was unintelligible because people were trying to say these things with their mouths full.

It’s a sandwich made from homemade bread.

Then you decide whether to fill it with beef, chicken, both or a barbecue version.

Then they add Muenster cheese, string beans, avocado spread (not guac), tomato and hopefully you’ll get the hot sauce. It’s expensive at around $9.00 but if you get a large it’s big enough to split and even if you don’t it is worth the money. Yes it is that good. I love Chacarero’s.  I wanted to name my cat Chaca after the sandwich but wiki says it means catfish which is weird so forget that.  

The Golden Age of Chacarero

So there is a smattering of some pretty darn good sandwiches right there. Get out there and try them if you haven’t already. You can buy two of them and make a quadruple decker if you want. I always wanted to mix an Italian with a Banh Mi and see what  that tasted like.

But What’s the Bottom Line Here?

The Colonials aren't hurting anyone. I was hesitant to even expose them. They are contributing to the Boston economy and they are an interesting bunch. If you ever have a history report or a question about life here during the early days of  the Revolution they can answer it. Many knowledgeable people are among their number.

If you’d like to join me in my next stake out I would be happy to show you what’s going on. I think a steak sandwich would be a good idea on a stake out right? We'll call it the Steak Out. Get in touch. Let’s make it happen.

There are questions concerning the butterfly effect. What happens if they change the past somehow. Would we even notice?  I am actually working with someone who claims we can do what they do here…..there. Wouldn't you love to have a tour of the Freedom Trail when it was still a cow pasture in 1774? Maybe we can go BACK in time. Would you want to? I would. At least for a few hours to poke around and of course to eat. There were no GMO's back then and nothing but natural ingredients. The Hub of the Universe may very well be a two way door. All you need is the key. My guess is it’s somewhere in the State House. Maybe Governor Duval is wearing it around his neck right now!

RECAP:

There are Colonial people from the 1700's traveling through a time portal located in Downtown Crossing in and out of Boston every day.

There are some damn good sandwiches around the area you can stuff your face with.

Remember . Colonials are people too.

This may just be a guy on his way to a rave - 

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