Thursday, October 22, 2015

GUN CONTROL - The Final Word on all this Nonsense

I finally got so sick of screaming at the TV that I decided to write some stuff down just to get it off my chest. There’s a few topics I would like to address in my own unique way and if you would permit me then I would be happy to answer any comments you post in the space below. Rebuttals are always welcome as well as constructive criticism, insults and yo mama jokes.


I live in a suburb of Boston. I am surrounded by people all day. I know a LOT of people because I am a somewhat sociable guy and have a ,for lack of a better word, big mouth. So let me lay some facts on you from my own observations.

Most people know nothing about guns. They have never shot one and actually they have never shopped in a gun store, learned about guns, or even held one in their hand. I am going to go out on a limb and say that almost everyone you know does not own a gun, could never shoot a gun even if a loaded one was put in their hand and they were locked in a room with a hungry bear, and in fact, have no desire to own a gun or have guns in their lives at all. If they need a gun they call someone with a gun. You know, a cop. The police are pretty good with guns when they have to be. But ask a cop how often he has had to use his weapon. How often has he discharged his weapon? 9 out of 10 will tell you they never have. Guns simply are not this big problem the media and our politicians are telling us they are.

Your typical American person would crap a week's worth of Wheaties out of their butts if they ever had to defend themselves in any way. They work, they procreate, they have little versions of themselves and they go about their daily lives thinking, No, KNOWING that everything will be fine. And there is nothing wrong with that.

But just ask someone where they stand on gun control and out pours all the opinions.

We have to protect our right to bear arms!

2nd Amendment! 2nd Amendment!  

Ask them to recite what the Amendment says in it’s entirety or better yet see if they can name 2 or 3 other Amendments. Then laugh as they illustrate their stupidity.

If the Nazi’s were resurrected and joined forces with the Russians, the Chinese and the Iranians and took over our Government do you know how many people that you know would join a militia and start fighting to save everyone? I don’t know, maybe 3. Most people would do what I’m doing right now. They would write an angry letter.

It’s what Americans do. We get angry. We get outraged! We yell, scream, poke, prod and whine. Most (not all) people are soft, pink, little animals. Most people haven’t been to war. Most people would exercise their right to bear arms by letting the other guy fight or by hiding in the basement. I'm not trying to sound mean. It’s just that anyone who’s read Yelp reviews or waited on line at Starbucks knows it’s true. Most people are lovers not fighters.

This gun issue is important because we don’t want the 1% of crazies, criminals and killers who live here to be able to walk into a place that sells guns and buy one easily.

DUUUUHHHH! Am I right?  Background checks. Strict background checks for everyone. Argue with that and you are a moron.

“But the criminals will still be able to buy illegal guns on the street!”

Yeah? So? If you are that scared that all these criminals are buying illegal guns everywhere and are coming to get you then either get meds because you’re paranoid OR , since you aren’t a criminal, get your own legal gun, learn how to be proficient at using it and shut the hell up. Buying a gun on the street is not that easy. Guns are NOT everywhere. You don’t want a gun or you would have a gun. You just want to have an opinion about everything.

Do you hunt? Do you know a lot of hunters? Not that many people hunt. Most people hunt for bargains in the supermarket. If every hunter in the country had 3 votes they still couldn’t decide on who the next President was going to be. That’s how few people go hunting. Most of us work, go out to dinner, watch the game, cook meat on the grill and do NOT give a crap about killing animals.

So when some Duck Dynasty looking camo wearing “hunter” starts whining on Fox News about how they need an assault rifle to kill wild boars or feral groundhogs or whatever. then I say this:

Nothing. I say nothing because what he thinks does not matter. It’s just a sound bite. Yeah I know the NRA is a big powerful organization and they have bought off hundreds of politicians for the right to hunt and have weapons easily available but that is pretty much the point of this rant.

The fact that they have power at all is the problem. It’s the old shell game. They keep telling us that Americans have more guns than anyone else in the world. We love our guns! It’s just nonsense. We love TV. We love Facebook, cell phones, hamburgers, sex, sports, music and a good horror movie but we really don’t love guns.

Guns should be controlled. Alcohol is controlled. Cigarettes are controlled. Driving is controlled. Actually almost everything is controlled. I can’t even go out into the woods near my house and cut down a tree. The woods are controlled. This is a non issue. Guns should be controlled more than the woods. The trees aren’t a deadly weapon.

So if your attitude is that they can have your gun when they pry it from your cold dead hands…

Well, then I suggest you buy one first. Legally. And be forced to wait while they thoroughly check your background.

You know what?

That’s all for today. I’m going to get something to eat. I bet I don’t see a single gun along the way and if I do. I’ll admit I was wrong.

But don’t hold your breath.